


Making An Excuse

by prefertheconsultingdetective



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Richard is drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:25:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4400819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prefertheconsultingdetective/pseuds/prefertheconsultingdetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a beautiful, but drunk man in Lee's backyard, Lee usually doesn't let strangers in, but he might make an excuse here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making An Excuse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ineedthislikeaholeinthehead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead/gifts).



> This is a birthday present for Jas, i hope you don't mind me gifting you all these stupid fics yet. I hope you're having a good day with everything you wish for! 
> 
> This is inspired by this (http://prefertheconsultingdetective.tumblr.com/post/124766829365/theappleppielifestyle-list-of-aus-to-consider) tumblr post !
> 
> This is nearly 1000 words of nonsense, it's not to be taken serious and I neither own Richard nor Lee!
> 
> (unbeta-ed, if that wasn't clear)

There are definitely much better things Lee could imagine doing at 3 am. Lying in bed, for example.

Instead he's standing in his backyard and experiences one of the weirdest things ever.

"You've such a cute dog." the dunk man on the floor slurs. "I've always been more of a cat person m'self, but I do make exc'ptions for cuties." he exclaims and winks at Lee.

Lee sighs.

He came home 10 minutes ago from visiting his parents and there had been a huge delay and all he had wanted was to take Carl inside with him and get better by cuddling with his dog. Instead he has found that Carl already has a new mate. A big bearded guy that sits next to him on the grass of Lee's fucking backyard and to make matters worse he's trying to flirt with Lee now by using fucking metaphors apparently.

Lee doesn't even want to think about how he came in here or why of all things.

He sets down his overnight bag and squats next to the man.

"Sure whatever, mate." He tries to be calm and friendly. This would be funny, really, if he weren't so fucking tired. "I really appreciate that and I'm sure Carl does too, but we're both very tired and would like to go to bed."

"Wanna go t'bed with you two." the drunken man mumbles and smiles first at Lee and then he smiles at Carl and even though he's wasted, Lee has to admit he's beautiful. His hair and beard has the exact right length and his eyes have a stunning blue, even in the pitch black of the night. He even smells good - under the alcohol.  
The truth is - it's exactly the man Lee would take to bed with. And it's been quite a while since he took anyone with him except Carl. He curses his luck. Of course it has to happen to him, that he meets a hot guy in the middle of the night when he's intoxicated.  
He wonders if the man is from around here, his accent didn't sound american, but mostly drunk, so who knows, maybe it's the new neighbor from next door, maybe they can see each other again when he's sober. Lee sighs. He's hopeless.

"I'm sure you do, but unfortunately Carl is very picky." he tries, but Carl chooses that exact moment to start lick the man's face. Which he only does with people he likes.

"Oh, he's picked me." the man notes happily and scrunches his nose adorably. "It's disgusting." he smiles and rubs his face against Carl's fur. And Lee just has to smile, too. This is so fucking weird.

"Hey, can I get you a taxi?" he says a minute later and yes, maybe he sounds a bit halfheartedly and Carl continues to lick the man's face and the man looks at Lee confused and shakes his head. "I think I'm going to be sick." he says weakly and vomits onto Lee's shoes.

Fucking amazing. And Lee had just contemplated really going to bed with him.

  
Lee struggles getting the man inside, he seems to be nearly as tall as Lee himself and being an uncoordinated drunk doesn't really help.

He swears to himself that he's only going to get him some water and a wet towel or something and then he's going to call a taxi, but when he comes back from the kitchen the man is snoring soundly on his couch.

Carl is lying next to him on the tiny spot between his legs and the back of the couch. Lee is sure he looks at him pleadingly.

"All right, whatever, if you wish." he shakes his head. Unbelievable.

***

The next day Lee wakes to the sound of groaning and Carl barking loudly.  
He has left the door from his bedroom to the living room open, just in case, and when he pops himself up on one hand he sees the man sitting on his couch, looking disheveled and confused. It's quite possible that he looks even more adorable than last night.  
Even though Lee definitely doesn't envy him right now.

"Where am I?" the man asks when he meets Lee's gaze.

"Umm, New York", Lee tries and the man visibly relaxes. So that's were he started drinking then.

The man lifts one arm and scratches his head, he turns his head and looks at Carl who is standing in front of him, happily wriggling his tail. He shakes his head and looks back at Lee. "No offense, but who are you and why am I in your house?"

Lee laughs. "I'm Lee and you were the one who turned up on my doormat cuddling with my dog. You've been pretty drunk and threw up in my garden and then you just fell asleep on my couch." he shrugs.

"Explains the headache." the man mumbles. "God", he groans. "I'm terribly sorry, but I don't remember much of last night. I haven't been - umm, you know, I didn't do something inappropriate?"

"Except of vomiting on my favorite shoes? No, I guess not."

They fall silent for a moment and then Lee says: "You can have a shower, if you want to." while the man says: "I'm Richard and would it be rude to ask if I could use your shower?". They laugh at each other and Lee just gestures in direction of the bathroom.  
"Towel are under the sink" he says and on second thought he adds: "There are also painkillers in the cabinet."

Richard smiles and gets up, but he turns around halfway through the door and says "Is your dog really called Carl?" and yes, Lee is really sure he's even more adorable this morning.


End file.
